A few days past the new year, but better late than never, I guess! This is a strange year for me, friends. Reflecting on years past and goals that I have set for myself, this year will look different. I can tell that my difference in goals is a way of me “growing up”, or maybe just growing into who I am meant to be. In a way, 2021 was a year of growth for me. I had to overcome my fears and truly believe that I am worthy of more than what I was receiving in my environment. I had to believe that I deserved a life that didn’t involve crying every day after (or sometimes during) work. Overcoming those mindsets that I was stuck and I was meant to be in that situation was a huge win for me. So, although 2021 was full of lots of doubt, worry, anxiety and sadness, it also had a silver lining to it.
As cliché as this may sound, I truly feel like a whole new person going into 2022, and not necessarily for the good. I am unemployed, searching for jobs in a realm that I am unfamiliar with, and I feel so lost. Teaching is much more than a job, it easily becomes an identity for those who lead the classroom. Without my classroom and my role as teacher, I don’t really know who I am. So, my overarching, big goal for 2022 is to find myself again. I hope to fall back into some hobbies and spend more quality time with my loved ones. I want to find things outside of teaching that I am passionate about, and things that make me, me, besides being a teacher.
To help me find myself again and “come into my own” in 2022, I’ve made a list of some smaller goals that will hopefully help me get there.
- Get closer to God. My relationship with God has always been a roller coaster. There are times in my life when I feel like I was really strong in my faith, and others where I don’t even remember what my faith is. My goal this year is to be consistent with my conversations with God. If you follow along on Instagram, you know that I have a favorite devotional that I read and reflect on. In 2021, I would go weeks without opening that book or my journal. In 2022, I really want that practice to become a habit in my daily life. I want to work on having a daily conversation with God and reflecting on His word.
- Ignore the influence. This can be really, really hard considering the space that I am in on social media. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media. I really do! I love connecting with people, sharing things I love, and finding inspiration and new tips and tricks on the various platforms. However, it can be so easy for me to fall into a rabbit hole of comparing myself to what everyone else is doing. Far too often I find myself thinking “I need to do what she’s doing because she has so many likes and followers”. I know that I am creative and have a lot to offer, so my hope for 2022 is that I am able to find the time to fall back into my original, creative self. I started this space because I love styling outfits and sharing fashion finds, and but as 2021 came to a close, I found myself just styling whatever seemed “in” rather than what I really love. I love mixing trends and classic pieces, so I plan to spend more time finding and styling looks that I truly love and I hope you will, too!
- Save money. Okay, this goal I feel like is pretty normal! Following along with what I just wrote, I cleaned out my closet and filled five whole bags full of clothes, some of them still with tags, of items that I did not or do not wear. As mentioned, I would purchase the “trendy” items, even if I loved them or not, just to post a picture on Instagram. That resulted in so much wasted money! So, I really want to be conscious of what I purchase this year. I used to be really good about only buying items I felt would last forever, and re-wear my loved pieces over and over. I want to incorporate that into the blog this year. I want to style pieces that are classic in different ways to give my followers an idea of how they can get the most bang for their buck! In the process, I’m hoping this saves on some unnecessary expenses just for a silly post.
Since most of my goals focus on finding myself again and finding my way in this world, I wanted to add a quick update to this post on my thoughts and feelings during this current state in my life. I would be lying if I said my stress and anxiety magically vanished since I left the classroom. Although I do feel a lot better knowing that I no longer have to step foot in such a toxic environment, I’m fighting a whole new battle now, which is feeling lost and worthless. As I mentioned earlier, I identify as a teacher. That was my job and my role for five and a half years, and now that I am not a teacher, I just don’t know what my purpose is. I’m so tied to my career and how I earn an income and I identify that as part of my personality. I believe a lot of people do this, and it’s sad. We become what we do for work, how sad is that?
I know that eventually, I will be happy again. I know that in the end, I made the right decision for myself and I will be better because of it. I can already feel the weight being lifted from my chest just being away from the classroom. I know that over time, I will be content and confident in who I am and my decisions. But, change is never easy, and right now I’m going through the uneasy part of change.
Thank you again for all of your support and love through this process. I feel like I have a million best friends out there! What are some of you goals for the new year?