Wow, what a year. Where do I even begin?! I’m not going to lie, I have never had a year that I truly wished away. Granted, I am young, but I encounter so many people every late December who claim, “This year was awful, I cannot wait for it to be over!”. Sure, I have bad days that I wish to be over, bu never an entire year. 2020 decided that it was going to change that for me (and everyone else on this planet).
To say that 2020 was an entire roller coaster of emotions, that literally never ended, is an understatement. I truly don’t believe that there are the proper words to describe every single emotion that I felt this year, all for different reasons. The year began with incredible potential; I was to marry my very best friend in June, travel the world (well, most of Europe) with him to celebrate our honeymoon, and live happily ever after. Early 2020 was full of wedding planning: dress-fittings, cake tastings, invitation-designing, and so much more. Actually, it was while I was home in March for some bridal appointments that we first heard about the scare of this new virus while watching the evening news. I flew back to Texas later that week, but was sure to wipe down my surroundings with a Clorox wipe, just in case.
The week after my spring break from teaching ended, we were told that we would have a week to prepare lessons in online format. Stressed would be the emotion to describe this situation. We never returned to the classroom, and I never saw my students in-person for the rest of the school year. April rolls around, and rumors that “everything will be fine by summer” had me feeling hopeful that perhaps by June 20, this virus would be a thing of the past and Alex and I would continue to have our fairytale wedding that we had been so busy earlier in the year planning. However, May neared closer, and I needed to make a decision: to postpone our wedding, or remain hopeful that perhaps this virus would take a turn, and we would be able to wed. As we all know, we made the difficult decision, as many brides did, to postpone the wedding until 2021. And this, of course, had me feeling sad, depressed, anxious, angry, and any other emotion that falls into these lines.
I could go on about the curveballs that this year has thrown me and the emotions I felt during them, but that is not the purpose of this post. This post is to share what I learned through these experiences and this year, and let me tell you, I learned that I am strong. I surely had my moments of weakness and my fair share of mental breakdowns, but despite all of the bad that this year served me, I remained resilient and kept going. We all did. We all woke up every day, ready to adapt and tackle our day-to-day activities because we had to. When the going got tough, we got tougher. It truly wasn’t until this holiday giving me time to reflect that I realized this. Every day, I wake up and do what I have to do not just to survive, but to thrive. How can I bring happiness to those around me every day? How can I make myself a better teacher, a better partner, a better daughter, and overall better person, despite all of the challenges of living in a pandemic?
2020 not only tested my mental and physical strength, but patience as well. I certainly learned patience in more than one situation this year. I became more empathetic as I struggled through teaching virtually, learning what some of my sweet students situations were at home, and reading about heartbreaking stories of lost loved ones due to Covid-19, healthcare workers struggling, and the racial injustice that so many in our society face. At the end of the day, this year put many issues that our society faces into light, teaching me not only of these injustices, but also teaching me to take a step back from my own little bubble and imagine myself in other’s shoes. At the end of the day (or year, LOL), 2020 taught me so much about myself and the world we live in. As much of a trainwreck as this year was, I am so thankful for it. This certainly was a year of growth and appreciation for what I have. I hope that despite all of the bad, you are able to find some good in this past year as well.
If I am being completely honest here, I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions. The main reason for this is because I know myself, and I know that I will never actually accomplish them. I always set my sights too high in terms of “resolutions”, so rather I like to set small goals. I do have some goals for 2021, both personal and professional, and I’d love to share some of them with you here.
Focus on Body Positivity
If you follow me on Instagram, I recently shared some negative habits I had in 2020 while preparing for my wedding. I was determined to reach a certain weight by my wedding day. So determined, in fact, that it led to unhealthy habits. This year, I want focus more on loving my body for what it is. Yes, I still want to eat healthy and exercise, but I do not want to scrutinize the parts of my body that I don’t love. I really want to learn ways to love these parts of me and prohibit negative thoughts from entering my mind.
Put Down the Phone and Pick Up a Book
I like to blame the pandemic for my screen time seriously increasing…but at the end of the day, I am in control of how I spend my time. Although it may be difficult because much of what I do is on a device, I really want to stop scrolling through social media at night and read. I received some books for Christmas that I can’t wait to crack open! Do you have any book recommendations that you love?!
Practice Gratitude
I used to have a wonderful habit of reading my devotional daily and writing in my gratitude journal. Of course, as mentioned earlier, I control how I spend my time, and I got away from this practice this year. I really want to get back into habit of reading my devotional and writing down words of gratitude daily. I truly believe that these small acts, even if it only takes 5 minutes a day, can change your mindset. Two of my favorite devotionals are this one and this one!
See a Dermatologist
Okay, this may seem silly; however, I am nearing my 30’s and although I read every skincare article there is on the internet, there truly is no better source than the doctor. I can already see some fine lines making their way onto my face, and I would love to sit down with a doctor and just learn more about what products are best for my skin to prevent aging and keep it healthy and glowing. I see a dentist twice a year, so I think it’s time to start scheduling yearly dermatologist check-ups!
I have a few more personal goals that perhaps I will share as the year goes on, but there are some that I like to save for just myself. Remember that January 1st is the time to become the best version of yourself, rather than “new year, new me!”. You are lovely and wonderful as you are, so I challenge you to make some goals, either small or large, that will help you become an even better person!
What goals do you already have for the new year?